No, he’s not adopted.

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By now, if you’ve followed my blog from the beginning, you would know that our oldest son was shaken and squeezed when he was three months old.

He was left with some long lasting effects from someone’s moments of anger and neglect.

His left eye is partially brown and blue. They were both blue prior. Turns out, when they shook him, they burst blood vessels behind the iris causing his eye to basically stain.

His rib cage is permanently deformed from where he was squeezed.

He still has marks 10 years later from where he was grabbed.

He gets concussions with the slightest hit to the head. Seriously, playing basketball this last season, a kid got mad they were losing and punched him in the head… boom. Concussion. What a good sport, am I right? (He didn’t even have the ball.)

Whenever we go out in public, there’s always one person that comments on his eyes.

“Oh wow! That’s so unique!” -stranger

“…thanks…”- MJ

“Were you born with this?”

*MJ looks at me to step in*

“No, he was shaken as a baby.”-me or my husband.

“…ohh… so… is he adopted, then?”

“No. I’m his mom.”

*stranger looks suspiciously at my husband.*

I cut in before they ask, “he’s his dad. Babysitters hurt him.”

“OH! Wow! Did you hurt them? I’d be in jail! I don’t care you don’t hurt my baby.”

“Yeah, that’s a knee jerk reaction… but here’s the thing. I’m no use to my kid in prison.”

“Oh I guess that’s a good point.”

It’s been 10 years.

A decade.

Yet the stigma is still so strong that if a baby is shaken, it is done by a parent. Usually a father.

Then the second is, the parents always lose custody.

This isn’t always the case.

In fact I know of way too many cases where it was someone outside of the parents that shook/abused a baby or child.

Know what’s worse?

These people rarely get anything other than a slap on the hand… if even that.

Mj’s abusers got nothing.

I was told by the detective, and I quote, “they’re so young. I don’t want to destroy their lives.”

…cool story, bro.

My kid is living with their actions. He was/is young. And you let him down. You didn’t give him any justice.

Sorry for the rant… I’m still a bit bitter about this.

I’m hoping this will reach others to educate just a little.

I’m so grateful God had his hand on MJ and he was spared so much more than what could’ve been. It hurts my heart to think what else could’ve happened. I live with guilt everyday, I know it wasn’t my fault, but at the same time, they were my friends I trusted them with my whole world. And they shattered that trust.

Shaken Baby Syndrome is 100% preventable.

The following pictures are him and us the year following. His left eye is turned in a little from it.